This time of year is equated to new resolutions, new promises to ourselves, and ridding the past from old habits. One trend that I believe needs redefining is ‘self-care’. It’s become more trendy to showcase pampering videos, vacations, adventures, etc. Everyone’s self-care routine looks differently, and I’m not saying that you can’t enjoy your self-care routine, but make sure you are checking in on yourself and not just checking off a bucket list. Because what’s alarming is the misconception that self care is only about comfort, pleasure and self indulgence. Self-care should focus on introspection into one’s mental, physical and social well-being, it’s the act of sitting still and reflecting on one’s current state.
Celebrating “life-wins” vs. self-care
I think it’s vital and healthy to celebrate the wins in life, no matter how big or small. But we have to ask ourselves how we are celebrating and what constitutes a celebration? For example, if you’re like me, after a long work day you may think, whew I deserve a glass of wine or something sweet. Seems harmless right? It can be but it can also lead to behavior where we become accustomed to celebrating the minimum, where we reward ourselves for any and everything. And if we are consumed with self gratification how do we expect to grow and develop especially when faced with uncomfortable situations, hardship and/or adversity.
“When we sate ourselves on the things of this world—pleasures and comforts of whatever kind—we become spiritually sluggish. Our prayer life, our Scripture reading, and all the delights of belonging to God seem distant and dull when we prioritize our time and activities around gratifying our appetites. What begins as self-care can morph into habits of laziness, where we are unwilling to exert ourselves without some pleasurable comfort as an accompaniment.” (Lydia Brownback )
How to ‘self-care’ the right way
You may be wondering, what should I be doing to remain balanced with my self-care routine? Here’s a few ideas:
- Actively pursue Jesus. This can be through prayer, asking questions, reading scripture, meditation, worship, you define what your pursuit looks like. How do you show love to God?
- Carve out alone time. This can be finding quiet spaces in your home, talking a walk, taking a long drive, find solace wherever you are. For me, I explore and take solo hikes often.
- Reflect on your current state. Think about how you truly feel, what emotions are going through your mind. Are you in an ok state, joyful state, depressed state, bleak state? Be 1000% honest with yourself, ask the hard questions.
- Remove distractions. Anything can be a distraction. Social media, streaming platforms, music, people, pets — literally anything. Take a break from what’s disrupting your focus. Are you idolizing anything or anyone? Step back and examine what’s cluttering your thoughts and behaviors.
“Self-care, when misinterpreted, can have just the opposite effect. “The downside is that because it’s become a buzzword, we’ve also diluted what it really means to take care of yourself,” says Kristina Hallett, a clinical psychologist and coach in Hartford, Connecticut. “You need to think differently about what it means to care for yourself and to feel good about who you are. It’s not just the actions – it’s the internal piece.” (U.S. and World Report News)
Scriptures to meditate on
I use these scriptures to help me connect with my internal and spiritual being.
Luke 5:16 “But he would withdraw to desolate places and pray.”
Mark 6:31 “And he said to them, “Come away by yourselves to a desolate place and rest a while.”
Matthew 11:28-30 “Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.”
Isaiah 41:10 “fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.”
Philippians 4:6-8 “do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.”
Exodus 18:18-19 “But Moses’ father-in-law said to him, “What you are doing is not good. Surely you and these people with you will wear yourselves out, because the task is too heavy for you. You cannot handle it alone.”
Genesis 2:2-3 “And on the seventh day God finished his work that he had done, and he rested on the seventh day from all his work that he had done. So God blessed the seventh day and made it holy, because on it God rested from all his work that he had done in creation.”
Make a plan
Make sure you’re taking care of you! Write down your current self-care routine and if you don’t have one create one. Think about room for improvement and ACTIONABLE steps to reach your self-care goals. Let me know what you come up with!
Carefully yours,
Carrie
I love the article, needed this.
This is great information everyone can use and probably relate. Take time for yourself!
Be Encouraged